Vengeance Pig
by Taramisu
Summary: Even stuffed animals have wishes. Mr. Gordo may regret his.
1. Chapters 1 through 4

Vengeance Pig

Chapters 1-4 

* * *

DATE: 11/05/02-11/17/02   
SUMMARY: Even stuffed animals have wishes   
RATING: PG-13   
SPOILERS: Up to CWDP and the corresponding AtS episode. 

* * *

A taller girl with brown hair appeared at the covering to the tiny world with walls. With the sudden flooding of light, a small fluff of pink was finally able to see again. 'What happened?' he wondered. One minute, he was basking in the glow of light from on top of Girl's bed, and the next minute, he was thrown into the shadows of this new world. He had called out for days, but no one ever came to his rescue.

He was about to ask Brown Fur for help, when, suddenly, he caught a glimpse of something that would change his little piggy life forever. An SA bear, with a red ribbon around his neck, sat upon Girl's bed. There was a huge smile on his face. Sure. Why wouldn't he be happy? He had the place of Honor. He had Girl's bed with a plump pillow to keep him comfy. He had taken the place of one Mr. Gordo.

Before our pig had a chance to escape, the covering closed again and drowned his new world back in darkness. And in that darkness, a pig cried.

************

"What's the matter, Mr. Gordo?" It was Bunnyanka, the bunny. Oh, dear. Now **_she_** was trapped in here too?! What was the world coming to when a Girl so willingly replaced her best friends with newer, flashier SA's?

"Bunnyanka? How can you ask me that? She did the same thing to you. Threw you away. Left you here in this SA cemetery to live out the rest of your bunny life. It's not right, I tell you. It's just not right." Mr. Gordo began to weep in earnest. His little body shook as he tried his best to cover his face and snout with his front hooves.

Bunnyanka put her paw on his shoulder. "I understand, Mr. Gordo." She then gave him a bunny nose kiss on his ear. "It's so very dark and lonely in here. Don't you wish Girl would never have another friend again?"

Mr. Gordo sat up in astonishment. "Oh, no! I could never wish bad things on Girl. As badly as she may treat me…us, she's still our Girl." He sighed, then hiccupped. 

"You don't, huh?" Bunnyanka scratched her head with her front paw, in contemplation. "But, aren't you angry with her for ignoring you?" Gordo nodded his head slowly. "Don't you just wish that Girl could know how angry you are with her?"

"Bunnyanka! No! I do not want my Girl to hurt, like I do." Mr. Gordo sidled up to her and whispered in her ear. "Are you one of those evil SA bunnies that Multi Colored One is always talking about?"

Bunnyanka smiled big. "Oh, no. Not me, Gordo! I just thought, you know, you'd like to get back at her for…"

"I am an SA pig. I do not wish bad things like that." Mr. Gordo thought a bit more, then sighed. "But it is awfully lonely in here."

Bunnyanka smirked.

"And I sure would like for Girl to remember me again."

Bunnyanka grinned.

"Perhaps…"

Bunnyanka smiled. "Yes…"

"I wish that Girl and all her friends were little again. I would like them to remember how important and special we SA's are!"

Bunnyanka the bunny's smooth, white fur melted away, leaving an ugly SA with green wrinkles and a terrifying snarl on her face. "Wish granted."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Mr. Gordo screamed at the sight of her.

**********

"So, what you're saying, is that because _you_ can't drive, that _I_ can't drive."

"Exactly, Dawnie."

Dawn stared daggers at her sister.

"Do you have any idea how incredibly _lame_ that theory is?"

"To _you_, yes."

Both sisters' attention shifted to the front door as it opened. "Well, I found one."

Buffy noticed the small metal object in Xander's hand. "Thanks, Xander. What would I ever do without you?"

"Pay someone to fix all these things the demons break, and then be penniless for the rest of your life?"

"Exactly."

Dawn jumped up from her seat, happy to have a human with more common sense than Buffy in the house. "So! Xander..."

"Yes, that's me." He looked at Buffy and pointed at Dawn. "What's up with her?"

Buffy just shrugged her shoulders, very much aware of what the coming conversation would entail.

"You have a car. And you're an adult. Right?"

Xander's eyes flew open in terror. His mind quickly recounted the conversation he had overheard last week about Dawn getting her blue slip. "Me? A car? Um, no. No. It, um got totaled last night. Yup. Bad, um, demon accident. Goo in the engine, slime in the head lights. Sorry. Xander is now car-less. And as for the adult thing…I don't think anyone in their right mind would call me an adult. Right, Buff?"

Buffy simply smirked as she waltzed off into the kitchen, dirty dishes in hand. "Try and convince _her_ of that."

**********

Light surrounded the Summers' house, shining out the windows and blinding a stray cat wandering by. Inside, a metal object fell to the floor and a set of dishes broke in the kitchen.

**********

The red head sat on a pile of books, close, but not inside his personal space. He didn't like it when she got that close. He didn't like it when _any_one got that close.

"I get that, Spike. I really do."

He peered up at her, an amused expression on his face. "I doubt you do, Red."

She shook her head, then smiled apologetically. "You're right. Of course I don't. But I'm closer to understanding it than anyone else in this room, right?"

They both looked around at the empty room. Noting the distinct lack of personnel, Spike released a small smile. Willow slapped him on the shoulder. "I knew you could do that."

"Do what?"

"Smile."

Spike sighed, then stood to stretch his legs. He absently paced the floor, as if trying to decide something. Finally, he had made up his mind. "I hallucinate, you know."

Willow found herself struck silent. Okay, _this_ she had never expected.

"The Master. Dru. Warren. Glory..." Then, more quietly, "…Buffy."

Let's see. One semester of Psychology before the Bitch From Hell prof turned into, well, a Bitch From Hell. Countless hours listening to one Buffy Summers and her messed up psyche. Even more hours with one Alexander Harris and his beyond screwed up psyche. Yup. She was officially…NOT qualified for this conversation.

"In fact, I don't even know if _you_'re real, Willow. I've had this exact conversation with Buffy. Only, she wasn't really there." He closed his eyes in pain.

"Oh, boy." She thought for a second, then continued. "Well, if I were an hallucination, why would you be hallucinating a crazy person in a stupid bird sweater who once tried to suck the world into hell?"

"I _do_ see Dru, you know."

"Oh, yeah. Right." Willow took another moment. "Oh! Okay. How about this? Giles wears hot pepper boxer shorts to bed."

Spike's face screwed up. "What?!"

"Yeah. And dress socks pulled up to his knees. Then, when the weather's cooler…"

"Stop!" Spike put his hands up to his ears. "No more! I've faced fire wielding demons, a bitch of a Goddess, my own demons and many worse terrors…but that is just too much."

"See? You can safely say that you would never hallucinate me telling you what Giles wears to bed, right?"

Spike closed his eyes as his first full, genuine smile crept across his face. It had been a long time since he felt humour. As he let the feeling flow through him, a bright light took his attention and he opened his eyes to a small child with red hair and over sized clothes.

"What the bloody hell?!" Spike jumped to his feet, ready to punch the walls. It had all been another hallucination all along. Damn soul! Damn demon! Damn basement!

"Hey, mister." The little imp yanked at his shirt. "You wanna play wit me?"

"No, kid. Now beat it before I…un-imagine you."

The child plopped herself down onto the floor and cried. But she didn't just cry…she wailed…a high pitched, whining cry that pierced Spike's delicate vampire ears.

"Mamma's gonna be so mad at you! You're a meany greeny!"

He looked in disbelief at the flailing child.

"I want…I want…I want…my mommy! Wahhhhh!"

He looked closer at the child, noting the red hair and silly sweater with…

Spike pulled the sweater taught in order to see the front. Brandished on the front was a fuzzy, yellow chick. A yellow chick! That was the same silly shirt Willow had been wearing not 2 minutes ago. Could this still be her? Could this being be really real?

He knelt down to address the screamer. "Willow?"

The little red headed girl stopped crying and wiped her little eyes. "Yeah?"

***********

"Rupert? Are you still in here?"

The woman looked in on her dear friend, but only found a small child, covered in herbs. "You wanna play in the sand wit me?"

************

"Oh, shit. Oh, shit."

"Those are bad words, mister." Willow's grin filled her entire face.

Spike scooped her into his arms and started toward the stairs. "What did you do this time, witch?"

************

"Angel? I'm back. Are you here?"

Cordelia looked down at a small child holding the Knife of Trajhia. "Angel? I like the angels. Are you an angel, pretty woman?"

She lunged for the knife and confiscated it from the little tyke. "Never, never play with knives, okay? They could hurt you."

The boy stared wide-eyed at his angel. "O-tay."

Cordelia gave herself a second to catch her breath, then looked around the lobby, calling out again. "Angel! Fred?!"

When there was no answer, she sat down with the 5 year old, resigning herself to waiting. "No one told me about you, little guy. Don't tell me you're another one of Angel's sons." She looked at him skeptically, and he gave her the same look back. "What's your name?"

With a large grin, the child answered, "Liam."

***********

"Wheee! Where are we going?"

Spike ignored her, assuming the best way to keep her quiet was to pretend she wasn't talking. He focused instead on his path to the slayer's house. She might know what happened. And if she didn't, one of her little friends would know.

"Huh?! Where are you taking me?"

What a ridiculous circumstance. The witch was now a child - about four or five years of age from what he could tell.

"Huh? My daddy says not to go anywhere with strangers. Are you a stranger?"

'No, but _this_ is pretty strange.' Spike mused silently.

"Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

That last 'huh' drove the vampire over the edge. Soul or no, he had negative patience for this child. "Oh, would you shut your bleedin' gob, girl?!"

Willow's face scrunched up in prelude to a good, loud cry.

With a roll of his eyes, Spike covered her face with the extra amount of sweater hanging from her petite body.

**********

"Oh, Cordelia! You're back." The skinny woman ran down the stairs, excited beyond belief at seeing her old friend. She pulled the former into a deep hug.

"Yes, I, um, didn't feel right staying with Connor."

Fred pulled away and looked into her saddened face. "Did something happen?"

"Oh, no. Nothing." If Cordelia was ever good at anything, subject changing was it. "So, is this another of Angel's children? You seem to be running your own daycare center here." She smiled brightly.

Fred's face registered confusion as she followed Cordelia's gaze down to the strange boy on the floor. "Um, hi there." She addressed the child, then turned back to her friend. "Who is this?"

Cordelia shrugged her shoulders. "You're asking _me_? The queen of amnesia?"

They both slowly looked away from each other and back to the little one. "I want my Boo Boo."

Little Liam sucked his thumb into his mouth and stared at the adults with large, brown eyes.

Picking him up, Cordelia asked sweetly, "What's a 'Boo Boo'?"

"My bear. I need Boo Boo."

***********

"Hello, little one. What are you doing here?"

Rupert just smiled evilly.

"And in such a mess, I might add."

Her voice was a bit harsh, but Rupert continued to smile evilly.

The woman extended her gaze beyond him and noted something strange behind the boy. It was some sort of plush animal. She ventured closer until she could finally see that it was a stuffed frog. 

The frog had definitely seen better days. An athame protruded from its head while white stuffing spilled out and onto the floor.

************

Footsteps. Small ones. And they were approaching the world with walls.

"Girl! Brown Fur! You have to let me out of here. Bunnyanka the bunny has gone crazy. HELP!!!!" Mr. Gordo took up banging on the wall.

Thankfully, the covering moved aside. Mr. Gordo sprang out of the little world, tumbling head over tail several times. Once his movement stopped, he could hear a tiny voice laughing. It sounded so familiar. He looked over in the vicinity of the laughter and saw…

"Girl!"

"Mr. Gordo!"

Buffy ran to her pig and swooped him into a grand embrace. Sure, she hugged a bit too tight, but then again, she always did.

Wait a minute. Girl was a girl. Not a big girl. A little girl. Like she used to be.

The pig squeaked out what he could. "Giiirll? Whyyy arrr yyyy…ssmmmlll?"

"Oh, Mr. Gordo. We will have so much fun now. Wanna play kitchen? I'll make pancakes! You be the taste tester." Buffy released him from the death grip, then ran out of the room, dragging him by his back leg. 

On the way down the stairs, his head bounced on each step.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

*********

Spike considered knocking, but decided he really didn't care. He was in too much of a hurry to unload his burden. With a swift kick, the door opened to a decidedly odd scene. A dark haired girl was chasing a dark haired boy. The boy was screaming at the top of his lungs. "Ahh! Cooties! Cooties!" They obviously had knocked over several knickknacks and one lamp, plus there was food all over the floor…which they were grounding into the carpet with their feet.

Spike set the girl down and rubbed his hand through his hair. "Bloody hell." 

**********

Fred and Cordelia simply stared at each other as the boy cried and screamed over and over, "I want, I want, I want!"

The two women tore the Hyperion's inhabited rooms apart in search of a toy – any toy that would stop the incessant whining. It was Cordelia who finally managed to uncover a well loved stuffed bear from the deep recesses of Angel's closet.

Just as planned, Liam took the bear and stopped his annoying noises. He almost seemed to recognize it.

**********


	2. Chapters 5 through 10

Vengeance Pig

Chapters 5-10 

A little blonde girl flew down the stairs with a pink pig bobbing behind her. The two dark haired ones were now wrestling on the floor while the red head had run to the corner in fear. And suddenly, it was all too much for the already stressed vampire.

"Enough!"

His deep voice echoed through the house. They all froze, eyes wide as saucers. Willow began to sniffle as her tears started again. The blonde, who just had to be Buffy, gave him a dirty look with her arms crossed. The pig still dangled from her little hand. "And who are you, mister? If my mommy finds you here, she'll spank you!"

"Pushy little thing, as always."

Before she could respond, the dark haired boy grabbed the pig and ran off into the kitchen. "HEY!" She took off after him.

"He stole Mista Gordo." The dark haired girl giggled as she approached Spike. "I'm glad. She always gets da better toys. Dumb sister."

A huge smile came to his face as he realized. "Dawn?" She smiled back. "Dawnie? Is that you?" She nodded her little head.

"Dat's me. What your name? You're cute."

Spike couldn't help himself. A giggle bubbled up and out. "Thanks, Bit." He mussed her hair. "I'm Spike."

Just then, Buffy and Xander emerged from the kitchen. Buffy had Mr. Gordo. Xander had a long face. "What kind of name is Spike? Dat's no name for a person. Dat's a dog name." Xander asked in that annoying way only a child can master.

Spike eyed him with a bit of contempt. Darn whelp. Always sticking his nose in where Spike didn't want it. "Alright. You can call me William, then. How's that, Harris?"

Xander's face suddenly lightened as he started to laugh and prance around the room.

"Wilum is a doggy! Wilum is a doggy!"

After three times around the couch, Xander somehow tripped over Spike's leg. The boy plummeted to the ground, then stared up at Spike with a dirty look. Spike just whistled and looked at the ceiling.

***********

"You have vewy big boobies."

Liam looked at Cordelia's chest and smiled laviciously. The two women sat stunned.

"Did he just…" Fred uttered.

"Yes. He did." Cordelia suddenly lost her patience. She was just about to exact some punishment on the errant child when a voice from the stairway grabbed her attention.

"Yo! What's with the brat?"

"We don't know, Gunn. I was hoping you would have some explanation." Fred exclaimed.

Gunn glared at the tyke who was now standing on the couch, attempting to look down Cordelia's shirt. "Little shit sure does look like Angel." The three adults turned to look at him again. Noting his position and choice of eye-candy, Cordelia quickly pulled her top closed while making an airy gasp. "Did the boss man go and get horizontal with another old girlfriend of his?"

Liam jumped up and down on the furniture as his now-guardians silently contemplated him.

"Well, that **_is_** Angel's shirt he's wearing." Fred noted.

"So…we think he's Angel's kid 'cuz he's got the same taste in clothes?"

Cordelia raised her eyebrows, "And hair."

************

"Wanna hold Mr. Gordo, Wilum?" Spike's heart warmed instantly at the sight of his slayer offering him her dearest toy. But when he reached for it, Buffy ran away, yelling, "Too bad. Too bad! **_My_** piggy!"

Spike started to mutter something about ungrateful little brats, but stopped at the sight of Buffy 'listening' to Mr. Gordo. She tilted her little head, then spoke to the animal. "I was **_not_** wude. You're **_my_** piggy!"

*************

"But, Girl. I like Yellow too. You have to learn to share. You learned this years ago."

"No share. **_My_** piggy." She hugged him tight to her belly.

Dawn clumsily ran to her sister. "You're mean. Give Piggy to Wilum." The girl stomped up to Buffy and crossed her arms over her chest.

With a huff, Buffy slowly relinquished Mr. Gordo to Spike. The pig gave a sigh of relief. If Yellow had him, then perhaps he could ask for help with the Baby Buffy problem. Spike reached out to the offered stuffed animal…Buffy offered closer…Spike reached even closer…then…

Xander grabbed the pig, running off as fast as his tiny legs could carry him.

************

"Where are your parents, and what have you done here? Mr. Giles is sure to be quite cross with you, young man. That was his…"

"Mr. Giles." The child giggled at hearing his family name.

************

Three children ran around the previously child-free living room, each screaming as loud as humanly possible, with Mr. Gordo flopping around behind Xander. The remaining kid in the corner started to cry. "I gotta go potty." Spike slowly turned his head toward Willow. "I just went potty." She cried harder. Spike sat hard on the floor, buried his head in his hands and moaned.

************

"Y-Y-Y-e-l-l-l-o-w-w-w-! H-h-h-h-e-l-l-l-p!!" Ouch! Oink!

************

Somewhere in the jungle:

"Lieutenant! Why is there a child in your tent?"

"I don't know, sir. He was here when we got back from maneuvers."

The officer looked down at the boy in disgust. "Why is he playing with mud?"

"Um, that's not mud, sir."

************

"Ooo, they make me so mad." Anya turned the corner onto Revello Drive. "Why do I always have to be involved in their…stuff?" She walked quickly, arms swinging furiously. "I mean, I'm my own person, right?" Her stride did not slow. "Or, not. Darn Buffy." Her breathing was a bit rushed. "She never wanted to be such close friends before. What am I? A charity case?" The woman flipped her hair out of her eyes. "'Come over for video night,' she says." She stood at the entrance. "Humph!"

************

Suddenly fed up with the ruckus, a very angry vampire, complete with game face, launched himself at the little boy with a loud roar. There was complete and utter silence…along with some large eyes. Spike tore Mr. Gordo from Xander's grasp, then looked in the children's eyes one by one. "That is enough! You will each sit down, and be quiet. You hear me?" Willow and Dawn nodded their heads slowly while the other two looked on in defiance. "There will be no more running. There will be no more yelling. There will be no more peeing on the sodding floor!"

Willow began to cry yet again.

"You have three very small humans making a mess and that one smells of urine." Spike's head turned to the front door to see it swinging open. Anya stood in the doorway, scrunching up her nose and motioning toward Willow.

"Anya!" He rejoiced at the sight of another adult, and a woman, no less. "You **_have_** to help me."

Dawn quickly stole Mr. Gordo from Spike, who paid no mind, and retreated to the couch.

"Is this your new choice of gainful employment? Babysitting? Because, while I applaud your entrance into the fun and exciting world of capitalism, I must say that you are not particularly fit for this job." She leaned toward him and whispered, "The insanity, you know." She twirled her finger while pointing at her head.

Spike rolled his eyes and sighed. "These aren't children, you stupid bint. Well…they are…but…"

Anya backed off a bit, her expression clearly stating, 'Crazy man. Beware!'

"Oh, for God's sake, Anya. It's a spell. These are the bloody Scoobies!" Anya ceased her backward retreat, ready to believe. She examined the group slowly. There was a blonde one with a scowl on her face. Next to her sat a brown haired boy picking his nose and eating the contents. On the couch was a brown haired girl kissing a pink pig. Lastly, in the corner, a red head sulked and smelled of urine.

Realization crept to her face. It was Buffy, Xander, Dawn and Willow. It was amazing. It was a spell. It was…hilarious!

She approached Xander and bent down to his small form. "Well, hello there, little man."

He grinned a huge grin that reached his ears.

"Do you want some candy?" Xander's eyes grew. Spike wondered what Anya was up to.

"No! I have an idea. How about we go get some ice cream, and visit the zoo? Would you like that?" The boy clapped his hands wildly and hopped up and down.

The other children whined a chorus of "me too". Anya maintained her gentle smile. "No, no. This will be **_Xander's_** special day." They all groaned. Willow cried.

"Now, give me your hand." He did so with glee. Xander looked back at his friends to stick his tongue out and clench his eyes tightly.

A beautiful woman and an ecstatic boy walked hand in hand toward the front door, leaving behind them four very confused faces.

Just as they reached the threshold, she stopped. "Oh, my!" She put her hands up to her mouth. "I forgot something very important!"

Xander looked up at her with a worried face.

"I don't **_want_** to make you happy or give you a special day."

His face screwed up in preparation for a full-fledged tantrum. "Oh, does that just break your little heart? I'm so sorry child-sized Xander. It's for your own good."

Spike smirked at the former demon. "What was that all about, then?"

She grinned evilly. "I may not be a 'Justice Demon' any longer, but I still know Vengeance."

Two adults laughed while a child cried in the night.

***********

The English woman angrily snatched up the strange child. "If you won't tell me who you are, then…"

Rupert did not bother to struggle. He simply dusted her with a hand full of ingredients, mumbled a few Latin words, then voila!

"…we're going to see…r-r-ribbet. Ribbet." Rupert regarded the frog with pride, then laughed himself silly.

*********

Fred ran down the stairs. "He's not anywhere upstairs. I don't know where he could be. Did he say anything to you about going out, Gunn?"

"What? Am I the vamp's keeper?"

"Um, guys?" A stunned Cordelia indicated for the others to look at little Liam. The boy had shed his oversized pants and was currently inspecting his bitty manhood…er…boyhood quite closely.   
  


Gunn squinted and said, "You better hope that gets bigger, dawg."

*********

"Mista Gordo has something to tell you, Wilum," Dawn announced from her spot on the sofa.

He smiled despite himself. "And what's that, now, platelet?"

Dawn's face swelled with pride. _She_ got to tell the cute man Mr. Gordo's secret. _Not_ Buffy. Yay! She took a deep breath with much bravado. "He says dat dis is a spell."

Anya and Spike looked at each other, both wondering the same things. How could this child know that there is a spell in effect? Could she really be talking to the stuffed animal?

"Wait. Dere's more." Dawn listened to the pig a bit longer, then continued. "He says Bunnyanka twicked him into making a wish, and now all of Girl's fwends are wittle." Dawn looked at Spike and laughed. "Hee, hee. We're wittle."

Anya felt her heart drop into her stomach. "Oh, no."

"Who the hell is Bunnyanka? What the bloody hell is going on here?"

Anya did not even seem to hear him. Her face paled as she began to speak. "I've always heard the rumors. Never paid them much mind. I can't believe they're actually true."

Spike waved his hand in front of her frozen face. "Anya! What are you yammering on about?"

She blinked, then focused on his face. "Bunnyanka. The stuffed animal bunny." He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "Don't you understand? She's the reason I fear them. Those terrifying rabbits with their good eyesight and long ears and," Anya shuddered, "wiggling noses."

"Anya…"

"It's a Vengeance Demon. It's a child's toy possessed with the spirit of a Vengeance Demon. Bunnyanka. She was the most feared of us all. The mere mention of her name would make the meanest demon cry. Once day she went too far. She cursed D'Hoffryn. He obviously did not appreciate one of his demons betraying him. So, he doomed her to spend eternity in a child's toy. She was never supposed to be able to exact vengeance again. But she found a way." Anya snapped out of her fear and addressed the fluff of pink. "Mr. Gordo? Where is she now?"

Dawn paid close attention to him. "He says she's in the small woom with walls."

"Where is that?"

Dawn shrugged her shoulders. "Where is that, Mista Gordo?" After waiting for an answer, she continued. "I tink he means in Buffy's woom."

"What?! Why would he be in her uterus?" Anya stared at the blonde's belly in awe and disgust. Spike just groaned.

"In her bloody **_r_**oom, you cow!"

She mouthed a silent "Oh!", then followed him upstairs.

************

"Hey! Where are dey going?!" Xander paused his picking activities to wonder about the adults going upstairs. "Dis isn't der house."

"Dey're going to fix the spell," Dawn announced with pride.

"I can spell!" Little Willow brightened a little. "Es, Pee, Ee, Ell, Ell. Dat spells spell!"

Xander broke into giggles. "Pee! You said pee!"

***********

"Anya…"

"What?"

"I may be dead, but I do still feel pain."

"Oh. Sorry."

Anya released the handful of skin she had absentmindedly grabbed when they got closer to Buffy's room. 

They continued up the stairs painfully slowly due to Anya's continued grasp on Spike's shirt. "I don't get it. Why would a stuffed animal need a vengeance spell?"

Spike shrugged.

"And how did Bunnyanka get in Buffy's house? That girl is a demon magnet."

Spike stopped on a dime and turned to look her in the eyes. "Don't ever say that. Never. The last time someone said things like that, I ended up kissing Bu…" He thought for a second. "Never mind. Continue," he ordered with a wave of his hand.

"I don't think I can do this, Spike. I mean, it's **_Bunnyanka_**. I…I don't…"

Spike stopped and took her hands in his. "Anya. You're a tough lady. If getting rid of these infants means facing a stuffed animal bunny, I think we can do it."

Her face displayed twelve different expressions of worry. "But…"

Spike placed on finger on her lips. "Together. Okay? Let's kick this thing's ass." He giggled a bit internally, but hid it from Anya's view.

With a small smile from Anya, they were on their way up the stairs once again.

***********

"You smell!" Buffy screwed up her face once she got close enough to Willow to smell her.

The girl started to cry again until Buffy grabbed her hand. "Come on. Wet's get you cweaned up."

Buffy and Willow ascended the stairs, hand in hand, with two others following them out of curiosity.

***********

"Well. Here it is. Buffy's room. Are you ready?"

"Ready."

Spike kicked the door open dramatically and bellowed, "Oh, Bunnyanka! Daddy's home!"

***********

"Daddy's home?"

"No, Dawn. Dat's Wilum. He's cwazy. Gimme dat towel."

***********

"Are you sure it's a good idea to piss her off? I mean, she **_is_** the most powerful Vengeance Demon ever to live." She looked like she was about to cry.

"It's a stuffed bunny, Anya," he said with a fair amount of condescension in his voice.

Suddenly, the closet door flew off its hinges, and standing before them was a small, green, veiny rabbit. "You underestimate me, vampire."

***********

"Where's your mommy, Liam?"

"Mommy? Is Mommy here? I want my mommy!" The tyke began to cry in earnest as he grasped onto the bear for dear life.

***********

Bunnyanka's face dripped green goo and her mouth spit black as she spoke to our heroes. "Anyanka. How good to see you, dear. How's the vengeance gig treating you? Well, I hope."

Anya, hiding partially behind Spike, pointed at her and shouted. "Don't think you can fool me, you…you…bunny! You're up to your old tricks, and we're going to stop you!"

Spike turned his head to look at her. "Boy, you're real threatening from back there." She shot him a dirty look.

"**_You_**? Stop **_me_**? I don't think so. But thanks for the laugh. Really. I could always count on you for the entertainment." She dropped the levity and became serious. "Now, out of my way!" Bunnyanka waved her paw to the side, causing Spike and Anya to fly across the room. They hit the wall with a loud thud, then slid down and onto the floor. "With the slayer…indisposed…" she grinned an evil grin, showing a set of blackened, pointed teeth, "I can finally get rid of her. Damn goody-two-shoes."

Spike started to remove Anya from on top of him, but found himself suddenly paralyzed. "Uh, uh. None of that, now, vampire. You get to sit still and watch your little slayer die." The demon turned and headed out the door. "It'll be like taking candy from a baby." Spike could not see her from his vantage point, but he did hear the maniacal laugh.

**********

"Dawn, gimme another shirt." There was no answer. "Dawn!" A quick survey revealed Xander, staring intently at a naked Willow, but no Dawn. "Dumb sister. She never hewps."

**********

"Think again, Bunnyanka!"

A little voice interrupted the demon's laugh. Before the ugly demon stood a small child with Mr. Gordo hanging from her hand.

"You think you're in a position to threaten **_me_**, pig?"

"Well, not now, no." Dawn brought Mr. Gordo to her ear, then put him down on the ground. "But now, you have to face me, Bunnyanka. You tricked me. You made me hurt Girl. You made me hurt her friends. You will pay for that."

She smiled. "Got a little taste of vengeance, and now you like it, eh? That's how it starts, you know. Before you know it, you'll be prime material for vengeance work."

Mr. Gordo put his hooves up to his ears and shut his eyes tightly. "No! You're wrong. I'll never join you. I'll never go to the dark side!"

Bunnyanka shrugged her shoulders. "Eh. Suit yourself, then." At her quiet resignation, Gordo opened his eyes. Immediately, he wished he didn't as the sight of the disgusting stuffed animal charging at him frightened him beyond belief. His first impulse was to run and hide. But no. He was the only thing that stood between his family and death. So, the brave little pig stood his ground.

From in front of him, he heard Yellow yelling. "Bunnyanka! Come fight me! Leave the girl out of this. You cowardly rabbit, you!"

From behind, he heard Girl screaming. "Dawn! Get back in here! I need a shirt and pants for Willow!"

From just next to him, he felt Brown Fur. "Dat's an ugly toy!"

That made the demon stop in her tracks. "**_I'm_** ugly?! How dare you! You and your smooth, peach face. Ugh! I'm gonna kill you more for that!"

She raised her paws at Dawn, causing the child to levitate. Mr. Gordo's eyes grew wide at the threat to Brown Fur. "No!!!!" He rammed his pink body into the bunny, knocking her down. Dawn fell to the ground as well, crying with a high-pitched wail.

At all the commotion, Buffy and Xander ran out from the bathroom to join in the fun and games. They were wrong about that, though. Buffy caught a glimpse of her sister in pain, then turned to see the scuffle between Mr. Gordo and Bunnyanka…except her bunny no longer looked cute and cuddly. She was now bumpy and slimy.

"You will not hurt my Girl!" The stuffed animals traded blows, until Bunnyanka finally tired of the manual display of power. She summoned all her power and blew the pig off her with a huge puff. Mr. Gordo flew into the wall. Buffy gasped at the sight of her beloved piggy. His stuffing poured out of a torn ear and tail. An arm lay across the hall, and a leg was missing. Before she could run to him, Bunnyanka addressed her.

"No, no, no, little one. You're mine now." She grinned evilly, then raised her paws once again. Bright red light began to shine out of the tips, growing larger and larger every second.

************

Spike stared at a pink, severed leg. "That can't be good."

************

As if in slow motion, Bunnyanka's light continued its growth. All eyes focused on it in amazement. Spike and Anya could see the blood red light flooding into their room as well. Buffy was seconds from becoming an ex-slayer -- the kind that becomes a short blurb of a listing in the Council of Watchers' _Who Was Who in Vampire Slaying_. Sure, you can buy one for four easy payments of $19.95, but who would want one? Face it, it's a very dry read, and the pictures aren't very flattering.

*Cough* Anyhow…back to our story.

A pink head lifted itself up with some difficulty as its eyes glowed green. The pig, possessed by some primeval force, muttered a slew of Latin words as if it were his first language. Bunnyanka's attention swiftly turned from the Bitty Buffy to her nemesis, Mr. Gordo.

"…me obtestor…"

"Um…" Bunnyanka's face began to show some fear.

"…me voco…"

Strike that. Her face was simply terrified. She had underestimated that stupid pig. What was she thinking?! Her body tingled from head to toe. She suddenly felt hot and cold at the same time. It wasn't until she realized she was screaming that she looked down to see her toes turning inside out, quickly followed by the rest of her small body. Before the pain became unbearable, she was able to mutter just one last sentence.

"If you strike me down, I will become stronger than you can possibly imagine!"

"My will be done!" he squealed at the disappearing bunny.

At that, her body completely devoured itself starting from the bottom. There was not even a speck of fur left in its place.

***********


	3. Epilogue

Vengeance Pig

Epilogue 

* * *

From the living room came the whir of a sewing machine and girly laughter. Spike relaxed at the kitchen table with a cup of tea. Across from him sat a very embarrassed Xander, sipping on a cola.

"I didn't mean to see her naked. Really, I didn't."

For the third time, Spike responded, "It's all right, Harris. You didn't know. She'll get over it right quick." Just then, Willow scampered by, holding the neck closed of her oversized sweatshirt. She spared a glance at Xander and blushed all over again.

"Cuppa, Red?"

"Um, no, no." She ran off a bit flustered.

Xander slammed his head down on the table with a groan.

***********

"Ow!" Buffy sucked on the finger that her sewing needle had punctured. "How did **_you_** get so good at this?"

Dawn continued sewing with a large grin. "Mom taught me."

Buffy's face dropped. "Oh." Dawn noticed the change in her sister's mood and was quick to try and comfort her.

"We bonded over repairing your clothes. It was kinda funny. Since I knew long before she did about the slaying, it was like a challenge to come up with excuses for you." She giggled. "I remember one time…your hip hugger jeans had this huge rip in the crotch, and I told her that you got it caught on the barbed wire as you snuck into the dump one night." By now, the girl was laughing hysterically. Buffy found her sister's good mood contagious and laughed with her.

"No wonder she thought I was a trouble maker. It's all your fault!"

Eventually, their mirth died down, and they continued the rescue project.

Dawn flipped up the machine's foot and pulled out the pink fur. "Ready for arm reattachment, sir!"

Buffy gently took the pig, minus one appendage, and regarded him with care. "Looks pretty good, Dawnie. Thank you."

**********

Angel realized with terror that his pants were on the other side of the room, and three of his closest friends stood not 10 feet away, staring at him in awe. He quickly pulled his shirt down to cover himself, then nervously spoke. "C-Cordelia! You're back. Good to see you." He nodded his head a tad. "And Fred. Gunn." They all had grins. Why were they grinning? He had just flashed the woman he loved, after looking down her shirt. What did they have to be so giddy about? "I'm just gonna…" he pointed with his head and thumb toward the stairs, "…go get dressed." He ran up the stairs, taking two at a time, yet making sure to keep his shirt pulled down as far as it would go.

Silence descended upon the Hyperion's lobby. Fred nervously looked around the room, while Gunn found himself rocking back and forth on his heels.

"So. Things like this happen a lot around here?" Cordelia asked. Fred and Gunn looked at each other questioningly, then answered in unison.

"Yup."

**********

A man in fatigues sat grimly on the edge of his cot. With his head in his hands, he wondered what the hell just happened, and sniff, sniff what is that terrible smell?

**********

"What is that you're picking out of your teeth, Harris?" Spike asked with a knowing smirk.

Xander looked up at him slowly. "Shut up. Just shut up."

**********

"Oh, dear Lord." Giles looked about the room in terror. What had he done? He remembered stabbing Mr. Pipsy, but where did the live frog come from?

"Ms. Wellington? Emily?"

"Ribbet."

**********

"There!" Buffy snipped off the last thread and held her precious pig up to eye level. "All better."

"Thank you, Girl."

She pulled Mr. Gordo into a warm embrace. "I'm sorry about the closet. I didn't realize."

"That's all right. Just remember that stuffed animals are people too…or something like that."

**********

01:00 – Scooby Movie Night, previously preempted by a crisis of supernatural nature, will now play in its entirety.

Various Scoobies sat around the Summers' living room, munching loudly on a variety of snack goods.

"I still don't get it." Anya talked right through a mouth full of popcorn. "Why would a stuffed animal earn a vengeance wish?" She haphazardly snatched Mr. Gordo from Buffy, earning herself a reprimand from said pig.

"Hey! Watch the arm!"

Buffy sighed. "I was ignoring him. He thinks I replaced him with Tom the Teddy." She got a room full of blank stares. She decided to clarify how she knew. "He told me when we were…you know…kids."

Spike snickered. He couldn't help himself. "You named your bear, 'Tom'?"

"What?!"

"Tom?"

"Yeah, Tom."

"Whatever." Spike took the pig back from Anya and looked in his eyes. "Now, 'Mr. Gordo'. **_That_**'s a name for a stuffed animal."

"Thank you, Yellow."

**********

And he was loved.


End file.
